#AskBrotherWord - What Do the Lonely Do at Christmas Hi BrotherWord,

I read your Tips to Cure the Holiday Blues, but I’m still stuck.  As good as the suggestions were, I find myself still alone and very much lost.  I volunteered, I talked to friends, and I realize and accept that I need help, but now what?  At the end of the day, it is still me all alone; I don’t have family near or accessible, all my friends have families of their own, and outside of business hours, there is no one else to interact with.  When I go home, it’s just me.

Sincerely,

What do the lonely do at Christmas?

Dear What do the lonely do at Christmas,

Thank you very much for contacting me and for following BrotherWord.  I’m glad the Tips to Cure the Holiday Blues shed some insight, but I can see that you are still having some difficulty.  The tips are only a microcosm of steps to help you through the holiday blues, but the fact of the matter is that it is an everyday process.

You’ve actually conquered the biggest obstacle – acknowledging that something is wrong and accepting that you need help.  You have even taken it a step further by applying some of the tools to work through what you are feeling.  Kudos to you!  The tips are a great source, but there are many factors that go into permanent resolutions.

One thing I hope you realize is that what you are feeling is not unique.  As alone as you may feel, you are not by yourself.  Although they may not be a physical presence there with you, you are loved and cared about and you have people in your life who value you and are grateful for you and at times like these, those are the thoughts that you should focus.  Life is not always about the tangible moments and exchanges, but moreso about the lives we touch and the feelings that last for an eternity.

This is also an ideal time to take account of your life and evaluate where you presently are and where you want to go.  Silence is a good thing.  It provides a chance to soul search and work on our flaws and strengthens the areas in which we excel.  Use the time wisely.  Begin a vision board for 2014, start a journal, plan your future and begin visualizing the next 12 months.  Use this time to start developing the life you seek.

Finally, as hard as this last suggestion will be, especially with the circumstances being what they are, you have to stop focusing on what isn’t there or what you don’t have, and shift your thoughts to the many blessings you do have.  You have a home to go to.  How many are without a home, a house, a place to lay their head?  You have friends and although family may not be accessible, you still have them.  How many have lost loved ones during this year and holiday season?  From every indication, you have your health.  How many are hospitalized, bed-ridden, holding on for dear life?  I have a mantra that I live by and it is applicable to all. “The more I THINK, the more I THANK.  Sometimes it’s as simple s replacing the ‘I’.” ©

When we really think about all that we have, we begin to realize how much we truly have and how much there is to be thankful about.  During this holiday season and each day afterwards, take a tally of all that you have, the many blessings – home, health, friends and family, etc. – and focus your attention on that and NOT on what you perceive as lacking or missing.  The quicker you shift your thoughts, the quicker life will turnaround and become more positive.  What do the lonely do at Christmas?  They realize they are not alone and start planning their future.

Merry Christmas,

BrotherWord