Posts tagged Marriage

Love Thyself

BrotherWord - Love Thyself

For any of us to be happy in any relationship, we first must be happy with ourselves.  Same rings true in love.  In order to receive or give love, we first must be able to love ourselves.  Loving ourselves is a phenomenal epiphany that happens over the course of lifetime and formulates as we begin to accept who we are, wonderfully and perfectly made in God’s image.

But what happens when loving ourselves becomes convoluted and blown out of proportion?  One Houston woman took loving thyself to another level and wait for it… married herself!  40 year old, Yasmin Eleby, made a promise to herself that if she had not found a suitable mate by the age of forty she would marry herself and earlier this month she did exactly that with the accompanying honeymoon.  See the article below which talks about and shows pictures from the elaborate wedding.

The conundrum is not the fact that she loves herself, but the lengths in which she went to express that.  How much is too much and what message is she really sending?  Furthermore, the multitude of people who participated and attended, was it healthy or productive that they are encouraging such behavior?  Eleby is correct in demonstrating that one must love themselves for who they are and in all their glory, but I have to disagree with the form of expression.

Not the first to pull off this feat, it is a mockery of the institution of marriage and all it stands for and also diminishes the theory that loving one’s self does not require making a grand announcement or spectacle.  To love oneself, all that is needed is self-awareness, self-appreciation, self-confidence, and self-acceptance.  In addition, to love thyself is a personal affirmation, not a public proclamation.  What is empowering and encouraging is knowing that even alone, I am still happy, I am just as great, I do not need someone to complete my life because I am whole, and I love myself no matter what.  How many times have you heard someone proclaiming, “I love myself.”  Not very often because it is not required or necessary.

If you want to express the love you have for yourself, simply do that.  Take pride in who you are, build the life you aspire to have, and take responsibility for your own happiness.  It does not require a lavish ceremony or a public display, but merely a look in the mirror as a reminder of how thankful you are for the life you have.

Do you think the solo wedding was too much or appropriate?  Would you marry yourself?  Let @BrotherWord know what you think and make sure to leave a comment here or at Twitter – @BrotherWord or

“Love yourself… Accept yourself… Forgive yourself, and be good to yourself.  Because without you the rest of us are without a source of many wonderful things.” ~ Leo F. Buscaglia


BrotherWord - Satisfaction

BrotherWord - Mature Content





When did self-satisfaction become paramount over self-dignity, self-respect, and the sanctity of marriage and relationships?  USA Network’s new show Satisfaction depicts the story a married couple who have become complacent and distant in their marriage.  He is an over-worked investor who is questioning his purpose in life while barely spending anytime with his wife or daughter.  She is an underappreciated and unfulfilled stay-at-home mom who suddenly realizes the life she once desired has somehow escaped her and now she is seeking “satisfaction” in all the wrong ways {check out the trailer}.  (more…)

Thankful Thursdays!

BrotherWord - Thankful Thursdays!

I can not begin to tell you how THANKFUL I am for my parents.  In today’s world where there are many single, separated,  and blended families, who by the way are doing exceptional jobs in raising their kids, I have been blessed to have my parents married and under the same roof my entire life.  They have not only nurtured and supported me, but they have provided priceless guidance and afforded me enough leeway to mold into the man I am today while still being a safety net when I fall.

A parent’s love is equivalent to God’s love for His children and my parents have loved me unconditionally and as deeply as Christ loved His son.  They say you will never understand a parent’s love until you become a parent yourself. This may be true, but I understand that it takes a great deal of sacrifice and I am so grateful to have the parents that I do.  They are more than a blessing; they are an example, an inspiration, and aspiration.  My parents continued pursuit of love and togetherness epitomizes why the matrimonial union was designed.

To say I am proud of them is an understatement.  I’m in awe of their longevity (42 years) in spite of devastation, death, and despair.  What they have endured is daunting to say the least, but they have managed to withstand.  And is that not what marriage is about, standing together to battle life’s tribulations (for better or for worse) while growing individually and together mentally, emotionally, and spiritually?

I am eternally THANKFUL for the parents God blessed me with and for them accepting the challenge and rising to the occasion every time!  I can never repay them for all they have done for me, but I will do all I can to make them proud and make sure they know their efforts were not in vain.  Mom and Dad, THANK you for loving me no matter what and providing me with a life that was not measured by things you could buy, but forged through the time we spent together, communication, discipline, lessons taught, and lots of hugs.  My love for you only pales in your love for me.

How have your parents affected your life and how has it shaped you to become a parent?  Share your thoughts here or @BrotherWord with the hashtag #ParentsLove.

#AskBrotherWord – Together Alone

#AskBrotherWord - Together Alone


Really not sure what to do.  I don’t want to be labeled as the cheating husband, but what do you do when your needs aren’t met at home.  And I’m not talking about physical needs, not to say that isn’t a problem too, but the connection on a mental and emotional level it takes to sustain a relationship.  I love my wife, but she stopped being my wife long ago.  She’s wrapped up in herself, the kids, her job, her family, her friends, and everything else but me and our marriage.  I’m tired of being taken for granted and neglected.  The saying is true, whatever is missing at home can be found elsewhere, and I’m beginning to look elsewhere.  Please help before this gets too far out of hand.


Together Alone (more…)

#AskBrotherWord – Keeping Secrets

#AskBrotherWord - Keeping Secrets

Hi BrotherWord,

I’m desperate and I need help ASAP.  I’m supposed to marry my fiancé in 2 weeks and as it gets closer, my anxiety is rising.  I’ve been keeping a secret that I’ve been living with for 17 years that I haven’t shared with anyone.  My mother doesn’t know, my friends don’t know, and my soon-to-be husband has no idea.  The thing is, I don’t want to start my marriage with secrets, but I have no idea how my fiance may react or if this will change his image of me.  I’m almost to the point of walking away altogether.

Help please,

Keeping Secrets


Marriage Material *Bonus

#AskBrotherWord - Marriage Material

Yesterday, one of my readers questioned whether or not they were Marriage Material.  It’s a bit alarming the rate at which divorce happenes these days and with marriages falling apart daily, it’s easy to understand why so many have lost faith in marriage.  As I expressed previously, marriage isn’t broken, people are, and as such, we have to find ways to mend ourselves in order to posiiton ourselves for our future spouses and properly prepare for the work that will determine the longevity and prosperity of your marriage.  You train to run a marathon, you take continuing courses and learn new skills to be proficient on your job, and you spend hours honing your craft.  So, why should it be any different in your marriage?  What you put into is what you will get out of it.

Below are 20 wise marriage tips from a man that was recently divorced. It’s hard to imagine that someone who has experienced divorce would be a good candidate to receive marriage advice from, but the advice he shares is essential and stupendous!  Sometimes we learn from our own mistakes and sometimes we learn from other’s mistakes. 


Obviously, I’m not a relationship expert. But there’s something about my divorce being finalized this week that gives me perspective of things I wish I would have done different… After losing a woman that I loved, and a marriage of almost 16 years, here’s the advice I wish I would have had…  (more…)

Ask BrotherWord – Marriage Material?

#AskBrotherWord - Marriage Material

Hi BrotherWord,

I’m in a peculiar situation.  Every woman, including me, dreams about meeting her Prince Charming, being swept off her feet, having a dream wedding, and living happily ever after.  That fairytale sounds nice, but the reality is much different.  No matter what I do or where I look, I have yet to meet Prince Charming and I continue to see my friends’ fairytales turn into horror stories.  Beginning to wonder if marriage is really for me or am doomed to live a life of solitude.


Marriage Material?


3s Not a Crowd

BrotherWord - 3s a Crowd

Every marriage hits a speed bump and inevitably there is some sort of discord.  How do you get over the hump?  What if you cannot?  Sometimes, unfortunately, infidelity happens and affairs take place, but what happens when you leave your husband, fall in love with another man and then realize you miss your husband?


The Power of Love

BrotherWord - Power of Love

1Corinthians 13:4-8 – Love suffers long and is kind; love does not envy; love does not parade itself, is not puffed up; does not behave rudely, does not seek its own, is not provoked, thinks no evil; does not rejoice in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth; bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never fails…

Love is the driving force beyond 99.9999% of all actions.  Whether pursuing the love of your life or your ideal job, it all stems from the same place deep within and manifests in different ways on different levels.  Love allows a person to hope, to dare, to believe, to endure, to never quit.  Love also fuels and replenishes and when necessary, love heals.  Love is the elixir of life!

Please take time to watch the video below that epitomizes how strong love truly is and the depths one will travel to express and show how much they love.  It’s inspiring, warming, and inspiring… and take note towards the end where their love stems from. 

Share with #BrotherWord your stories of love and how love has shaped your life.  Send your thoughts to BrotherWord @BrotherWord with the tag #MyLove.

“Where there is love, there is life.” ~ Mahatma Gandhi

U, Me, and We – Past, Present, Future

U, Me, & We:Past, Present, & Future

“Yesterday is history, tomorrow a mystery, today is a gift, that’s why it’s called the present.” ~ Author Unknown

Heard a topic recently about “Recalculating Your Route” and it began me to think about what happens when history spoils the gift and ruins the mystery?  As creatures of habit and self-preservation, our first instinct is to gravitate to what is comfortable and protect ourselves at all costs, and in doing so, we may miss out on the most important and beautiful things in life.

So often we rely on what we have experienced and although it is wise to learn from our past, we forget to enjoy the “present” when we allow those lessons to stifle our future.  Pain is a great equalizer and reminder of what to do and not to do, but it can also be a paralyses.  It can leave you stuck in a rut and life passing you by, especially when it comes to relationships and love.

Continue Reading at Past, Present, Future

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