Posts tagged MEN

#AskBrotherWord

BrotherWord - Choosing a Life Partner

Hi BrotherWord,

I recently came across an article that read, “When a man gets ready to settle down and become a provider, he doesn’t look for a strong, independent woman, but rather a woman who will allow him to provide for her.”  Do you think this is true and do men feel like they are in competition with a woman if she has a successful career?

Sincerely,

We Want to Know

Greetings We Want to Know!  What a great topic and question.  It seems to be an ongoing discussion on how men perceive women in power or those with high paying positions and whether or not men can realistically handle not being the bread winner or having an “inferior” career title.  Let me say this first and foremost.  Although women’s rights and empowerment have come a long way and we find women serving in multiple areas as CEOs, heading multi-billion corporations, high-ranking government offices, and at the forefront of major organizations, any man would and should be proud to be linked with, associated with, and/or married to such a woman. 

There is a huge misconception that men marry down and women marry up.  That is an ideal that at one point in time may have had some merit, but has long since been dismissed.  In today’s society, both men and women are looking for equal partners (in most cases) and even if they are not equal from the onset, they at least recognize the potential to grow and build together.  Most women are seeking a man who is established or at least has a goal in mind and working towards that goal, has an idea of where life his going and where he would like to be in the near future, shows stability, and is open to sharing his world.  Women need and want a man to be provider and protector and assure their safety and security.  Most men are looking for a woman who knows who she is and is confident in that, who is willing to lend a hand and support, who is independent enough to hold her own, yet trusting enough to allow her man to lead, and is willing an able to forge a partnership for the betterment of the couple.  If anyone, either male or female, tells you they are looking for a doormat or someone who will be subservient, run as quickly as possible! 
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What Did She Say?

BrotherWord - What She Said

“My grandmother told me that, ‘The man is the stem, and the woman is the flower… He must always be looking up at her. He’s the root, and she’s the blossom from that.’” ~ Jill Scott

Ladies, BrotherWord is reaching out to you to get your opinion and help me figure this one out.  Jill made the comment above and trying to get to the bottom of what she really meant and whether or not you agree, disagree, or if there is even any validity to the statement.

Not knowing exactly what Ms. Scott meant and definitely not trying to put words in her mouth, I would surmise that her grandmother’s statement and the underlying meaning she was conveying is based on the idea that men choose their significant other and like a stem on a flower, based on how sturdy he is in his conviction and decision, it will ultimately determine how the flower blossoms.

The stem of a flower supports the flower acts like a plumbing system, conducting water and nutrients from the roots and food in the form of glucose from the leaves to other parts; holds it upright and steady; and is the base and the foundation in which the flower is deeply rooted.  Taken this analogy to a literal meaning, it is easy to see when a man chooses his mate, he is agreeing to be priest, provider, and protector, supporting and developing his delicate flower, providing whatever is necessary to sustain and help it grow, and doing all within its power to protect this precious possession.

Following that logic, the man is the root, deeply dug in, grounded, spiritually connected to the earth, and life flows through the stem allowing her to blossom and flourish.  If he is the stem though, does he always have to look up to her, the blossom?  Does the blossom never look down to the stem, thanking him for his constant efforts to uplift her?  All the work the stem does and it not get any recognition or thanks?

I understand the each has a part in the growth process and one may have a little more than the other, but are they not equally important?  Ladies, and gentleman, what do you think?  Is the stem (the man) built to do all the work, provide everything that is needed or wanted, hold the flower (the woman) up constantly supporting it while the flower blossoms, is admired for its beauty and radiance, and receives all of the accolades and praise? 

Leave your comment here or @BrotherWord on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram.  Let’s keep the conversation going and share your thoughts on what purpose you think the stem and flower play.

Silent Violence

BrotherWord - Silent Violence

BrotherWord - Mature Content

 

 

By now, everyone has seen the video of Ray Rice striking his then fiance’ Janay Palmer, knocking her unconscious.  The act was deplorable and there is no excuse or explanation and no matter what your opinion may be, I think everyone can agree it was a horrific sight to witness.  The question that I have been asked, by both men and women alike, is how could she possibly stay with him, let alone marry him? (more…)

#Ask BrotherWord

not BrotherWord - Dating 101

BrotherWord,

There seems to be a serious lack of qualified men in the marketplace and the art of courting has seem to become a thing of the past.  Has dating devolved to a couple of drinks in hopes of a one-night stand or is there a sliver of hope for courtship that resembles the days of my elders?  Do men really court women anymore or has courting a lady become passé?

Sincerely,

Dating 101 (more…)

Satisfaction

BrotherWord - Satisfaction

BrotherWord - Mature Content

 

 

 

 

When did self-satisfaction become paramount over self-dignity, self-respect, and the sanctity of marriage and relationships?  USA Network’s new show Satisfaction depicts the story a married couple who have become complacent and distant in their marriage.  He is an over-worked investor who is questioning his purpose in life while barely spending anytime with his wife or daughter.  She is an underappreciated and unfulfilled stay-at-home mom who suddenly realizes the life she once desired has somehow escaped her and now she is seeking “satisfaction” in all the wrong ways {check out the trailer}.  (more…)

Searching For Him

BrotherWord - Searching For Him

One of BrotherWord’s loyal followers – @gmilliboo – submitted an article in regards to Head of Household.  Tobi Atte’s Christian perspective on dating and women’s pursuit of finding a mate is refreshing and thought-provoking.  As he points out, searching for him greatly depends on the mindset you start out with.  Take a moment to read this insightful article and let @BrotherWord and @ijustmetme know your thoughts. (more…)

Head of Household

BrotherWord - Head of Household

With the progression of women’s power in the workplace, the idea of “head of household” has become an area of contention in some homes and relationships.  Sure, from a biblical stance there are many scripture verses that allude to the theory that simply being male makes one the head of the household.  Many women today scoff at this notion and have begun to rebel against ideals. (more…)

She Speaks

BrotherWord - She Speaks

Here is a PSA for my gentleman.  Over the past few weeks, several ladies have reached out to BrotherWord asking why can’t their men love them like they desire.  My initial question for each of them was “what exactly are you expecting that is not being fulfilled,” and as if it was a sorority pledge or an anthem, each lady was seeking the same.  So here are 5 tips for my guys to help you in your relationship and to also make sure when she speaks, she is being heard. (more…)

#Ask BrotherWord – Submission

#AskBrotherWord - Submit

BrotherWord,

Do you think women should be submissive to their husbands?  After having a conversation with a group of older ladies, I really began to wonder.  I was asked if I was submissive to men and told rather matter-of-factly, that I would continue to be single and forever lonely until I learned how to cater to my man!  They went on to say that young women are more about friends, careers, etc. first and treat men as a last priority.  Their definition of being submissive was that their needs are met after his and to allow the man to make choices and simply follow.  Call me crazy, but I’ve been making decisions for myself for quite sometime and I don’t need anyone making them for me now.  I have no problem collaborating, but it sounds to me they are saying I need to relinquish all freedom and personal choices.  That isn’t an option so now what?

SIncerely,

New Millenium Woman (more…)

#AskBrotherWord – Soulmate

BrotherWord - Soulmate

One of BrotherWord’s faithful readers, @ljackwill3805, forwarded an article regarding soulmates.  In the article, @TheMaryGraham talks about how her husband is NOT her soulmate and how as her daughters grow, discover themselves, and eventually seek a husband of their own, she does not want them to become disillusioned with the notion that soulmates exist.  I could not disagree more! (more…)

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