Head of Household

With the progression of women’s power in the workplace, the idea of “head of household” has become an area of contention in some homes and relationships.  Sure, from a biblical stance there are many scripture verses that allude to the theory that simply being male makes one the head of the household.  Many women today scoff at this notion and have begun to rebel against ideals.

Men and women alike hear me.  Although roles have been skewed and unfortunately, one gender or another has had to take on responsibilities that they were never intended or built to handle, there is a purpose we have been commissioned to fulfill within our homes and families.  Ladies, this in no way diminishes who you are or all that you do and gentleman, by no stretch of the imagination does it give you the right to attempt to enforce a dictatorship.  What the purpose does provide is an opportunity for each person to exercise their strengths and characteristics and collectively come together to better the family.

I heard one lady state that if her man is not working, he could not be the head of their home and if her salary was greater than his, the decision making and leadership role should reflect such.  It is understandable that if he is unwillingly to provide for his family, he is more than likely unfit to lead.  But is his ability to lead predicated by the number of zeroes on his check?  My challenge to that statement is does a pay stub really determine suitability to lead?  If your idea is to run your house like a boardroom, you have already failed.  What you practice on your job may apply at home, but does not mean it will work.

As a man, he has been assigned to be priest, provider, and protector, which means as priest, he should pour love, knowledge, and means of growth for the family.  As provider, he is tasked to provide not only for the basic needs, but also the emotional, mental, and physical needs as necessary.  As protector, his sole goal is to assure his family’s safety and give them a sense of trust and security that he will do whatever it takes to make sure they are not harmed.  This is what he has been built and purposed for and ladies, no matter what your position is on your job, this is his sacred mission and what makes him the ideal candidate to be head of household.  You may question his role and question the many verses of the bible that clearly define his role, but there is no denying the validity of its practices.  When properly practiced, it is proven to profit and progress the entire family.

Again, this does not negate her intelligence, abilities, or position in the home.  She is the pulse and backbone of the relationship.  How she adapts and handles life as it happens and relates to her mate sets the tone of everything.  Her quiet strength, calm under pressure, and willingness to support and follow provides the fuel needed to nurture and develop the relationship.  Her role is priceless and although it may seem like a step down from corporate America, it is a role that very few are willing to perform.

This age-old debate will continue through various sects and there will be constant questions on who should be head of household, but one thing is for sure, titles mean nothing if the principles are not practiced.  Next time you want to force your will and declare head of household, think about the physical, mental, and emotional responsibilities, and then decide if you are equipped to fulfill them all.  A real head of household is willing to sacrifice for the family, humble themselves, be inclusive and considering, and above all, lead by example in a direction that is befitting.  That has nothing to do with gender or salary, but everything to do with living on purpose and utilizing the tools that have been entrusted to you.

“The man may be the head of the household, but the woman is the neck and she can turn the head whichever way she pleases.” ~ Nia Vardalos