Asking someone out for a first date may be a daunting task in and of itself, but securing a second date is the real trick.
Many first-time daters fail to obtain that elusive second date because they inevitably shoot themselves in the foot. They said yes for the first date because it was something appealing about you, so what went wrong?
Here are three reasons why many daters are one and done:
1.) You appear too needy and desperate. It’s okay to show interest in someone and to let them know you find them attractive, interesting, etc., but when it begins to borderline on desperation, all attractiveness vanishes. The “chase” is alluring, so do not become easy prey.
2.) As hypocritical as this may sound, you have to put yourself out there. Daters squander a chance for a second date because they are too standoffish, too aloof. A little mystery is intriguing, but no one wants to date a recluse or a closed book To catch bees, you have to spread a little honey.
3.) One of the biggest reasons many fail to make it to a second date is because they have portrayed themselves as someone else and it is hard to keep up a false persona. You have met someone you like, interested in, and you ask them out, but instead of being yourself, you put on a facade. Not only is it hard to keep up pretenses, but they are easy to poke holes in and see through. Instead of being the person they initially met who was a little quirky, funny, and had unique characteristics, you have now warped into this other person – the life of the party, sexy vixen, super charmer, flashy dresser, elaborate spender, etc. “Where did the person I initially met go,” they are wondering. You have now turned the other person completely off and worse, you have characterized yourself as phony and foolish. The best and only person you should ever portray is yourself.
Want to make it to a second date? Be yourself, give a little of yourself, and save some of yourself so the other person is wanting more and a second date. Tell BrotherWord how you’ve conquered the “second date” jinx and share your secrets with those not so lucky.