Ask BrotherWord – Dazed and Confused

Ask BrotherWord - Dazed and Confused

Dear Brotherword,

Is it ever okay for a woman to let a man know when she’s interested, or should she wait and hope he eventually notices her? Some guys say they’re flattered to get attention from a woman, while others say men like the chase. Should I sit back and wait or go after what I want? There is a guy I’m interested in, but my friends say that if he was interested in me, he would show it because men go after what they want. Help.

Dazed and Confused

Dear Dazed and Confused,

I’m glad you sought BrotherWord out for some advice.  Let’s jump right in.  The “rules” of dating and pursuing mates have morphed over the years and with the progression and evolution of the female role in our society, what was once taboo, is now the norm.  Women have taken on new positions of power and authority and being meek and subdued, or waiting for what they want, isn’t a protocol that is commonly practiced anymore.

But all of that said, each woman is different in how they choose a mate and how they want to be pursued.  Either option – waiting or being the pursuer – has its own pros and cons.

Waiting for him to make a move may be an exercise in futility.  His timetable may be slow and dragged out, a cautionary process as to not become vulnerable.  Are you patient enough to sit, wait, hope he makes a move?  What if that move isn’t for some time?  It doesn’t necessarily mean he’s lost interest, but it could; or even possibly he’ll think you aren’t interested.

My suggestion is option B.  A subtle hint to let him know you noticed him too, and that you’re interested.  I’m not suggesting that you throw yourself at him or come on strong, but men do want to know if they have a shot early on and a little reassurance goes a long way.  It is a boost of confidence and an injection of courage that strokes his ego and gives him the green light to continue the pursuit.  The drawback is that now you’ve put yourself out there and the chance of getting rejected is even greater.  It’s a catch 22 in every way.

Dazed and Confused, ultimately you have to make the choice of what you’re willing to risk (pride, traditions, being chased and pursued) versus going after what you want and throwing caution to the wind.  Not the easiest of choices, but the reward outweighs the risk.  Go for it!

Let BrotherWord know what decision you make and how it turns out.  Whatever your choice, let it be yours and be content with your decision and know that when it is right, it will happen.

Peace & Blessings,


Thank You and Continue to Spread the Word!

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