Ask BrotherWord – Patience Running Thin

#AskBrotherword - Patience Running Thin

Dear BrotherWord,

I’ve been actively pursuing this lady for almost 4 months now.  I think she possesses a lot of what I’m looking for in a woman and a future, but our schedules have yet to align.  The only time we speak, which is mainly by text, is only when I reach out and every time I ask why we haven’t gone out or spent time, she says she’s busy.  I can read in between the lines and take subtle hints so I plainly asked her if she wasn’t interested because I don’t want to waste her time or mine.  She was adamant that wasn’t the case and it’s not that she isn’t interested, but her schedule and life are crazy and hectic right now and she doesn’t want to start anything she can’t put her all in.  Although I can respect the honesty, I’m really wondering if it was a polite way of saying, go away.  What should I do? 


Patience Running Thin

Dear Patience Running Thin,

Truly appreciate you reaching out to BrotherWord and I hope to provide some insight and steer you in the best direction.  I understand the delicacy of the situation and how much it may be eating at you, so let’s jump right in.

Apparently there is something about this woman that has captivated and commanded your attention and whatever qualities she possesses, you’ve determined they are worth your time and efforts.  That is a great step!  Not many people recognize opportunity when it knocks, let alone have the courage to pursue it.  You have done both and that should be applauded. One of the greatest attributes any person can be endowed with is to grab life with both hands and live to the fullest.

That said, life does not stand still for anyone.  You did not say what qualities this lady holds, but I’m willing to go on a limb and say she is worthy of your pursuit.  The thing about life is that the stars don’t always align and no matter how much we may want something, it may not be in the plan for us.  I would not counsel or advise anyone to put their life on hold waiting for the perfect situation or waiting on others.  I can respect and appreciate her honesty and although her time may be limited and her life hectic, my experience has taught me that people make time for what they want.

The best course of action is to continue to be patience and give it a little more time.  But in the interim, occupy yourself with other things to do.  Hit the gym, pick up a new hobby, volunteer, but most importantly, work on being the best person you can become so when the time does arrive, you are fully prepared for her, or whomever may come along if it turns out she is not the one for you.  Sometimes, you have to take a step back to see the bigger picture and to also allow others to appreciate what they are possibly missing out on.  Put the ball in her court and let her miss you a little.  She will notice when the texts are not as often, when she is not getting your attention, and when your pursuit of her begins to lessen.  If she is truly interested and wants to explore what could be with you, she will reach out and make herself available.  If she is the woman of stature as you have described, she will not want to lose a man of your caliber or forsake what could be the best thing that ever happened to her.

Hang in there a bit longer.  Good things come to those that wait and patience is a virtue that many struggle to obtain.  Either way, this period of time will strengthen you in many ways.  It will teach you to appreciate life fuller, to work for what you want, and to endure through all things.  No matter how this journey ends, you will be better because of it.

Please stay in touch and let BrotherWord know how things work out.  I wish you and the lady of you desire all the best and a life together full of happiness!  Your patience will pay off.


“Patience is bitter, but its fruit is sweet.” ~ Jean-Jacques Rousseau

“Patience, persistence, and perspiration make an unbeatable combination for success.” ~ Napoleon Hill




2 thoughts on “Ask BrotherWord – Patience Running Thin”

  1. Unhappily Thus Far

    Very insightful reply. I’ve become a bit of a pessimist in the area of lasting love and maybe that’s what’s fueling this perspective. Is it possible that the allure of this woman is less about her admirable qualities and more about “the chase?” No gender bias when I say men often want what they can’t have the most; sometimes women are objects. Once we reciprocate interest, the magic goes away. Will you still find her so desirable when she returns the favor or will the chaser become the chased? Whatever the case, I think BrotherWord has given inspirational, motivational, and sound advice on the matter. I wish you and your lady friend well. 🙂

Thank You and Continue to Spread the Word!

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