“My grandmother told me that, ‘The man is the stem, and the woman is the flower… He must always be looking up at her. He’s the root, and she’s the blossom from that.’” ~ Jill Scott
Ladies, BrotherWord is reaching out to you to get your opinion and help me figure this one out. Jill made the comment above and trying to get to the bottom of what she really meant and whether or not you agree, disagree, or if there is even any validity to the statement.
Not knowing exactly what Ms. Scott meant and definitely not trying to put words in her mouth, I would surmise that her grandmother’s statement and the underlying meaning she was conveying is based on the idea that men choose their significant other and like a stem on a flower, based on how sturdy he is in his conviction and decision, it will ultimately determine how the flower blossoms.
The stem of a flower supports the flower; acts like a plumbing system, conducting water and nutrients from the roots and food in the form of glucose from the leaves to other parts; holds it upright and steady; and is the base and the foundation in which the flower is deeply rooted. Taken this analogy to a literal meaning, it is easy to see when a man chooses his mate, he is agreeing to be priest, provider, and protector, supporting and developing his delicate flower, providing whatever is necessary to sustain and help it grow, and doing all within its power to protect this precious possession.
Following that logic, the man is the root, deeply dug in, grounded, spiritually connected to the earth, and life flows through the stem allowing her to blossom and flourish. If he is the stem though, does he always have to look up to her, the blossom? Does the blossom never look down to the stem, thanking him for his constant efforts to uplift her? All the work the stem does and it not get any recognition or thanks?
I understand the each has a part in the growth process and one may have a little more than the other, but are they not equally important? Ladies, and gentleman, what do you think? Is the stem (the man) built to do all the work, provide everything that is needed or wanted, hold the flower (the woman) up constantly supporting it while the flower blossoms, is admired for its beauty and radiance, and receives all of the accolades and praise?
Leave your comment here or @BrotherWord on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram. Let’s keep the conversation going and share your thoughts on what purpose you think the stem and flower play.
2 thoughts on “What Did She Say?”
I believe it’s all in how you look at it. When you have a seed, both the stem and the petals are contained in that seed. Together, they are planted in the earth. Together, they are watered. As the seed is watered, the stem sprouts first. “He” (i.e., the stem), has to be first, just as the man is considered to be first or the head of the family. The stem is the foundation of everything, just as the man is the foundation of the home. All the nutrients must travel through the stem in order for the flower to bloom. Individually, men and women can do great things, but neither can reach his or her full potential without the other.
The blooming flower is a testament to the glory of God. The flower cannot exist without both the stem and the petals. One is not more important than the other, but they each must play their position. They must co-exist. Without the stem, the flower couldn’t stand. Without the stem, the petals would die. The stem is the life force. Is that fact not recognition enough? There is no recognition to be gained other than the credit due to God.
If the stem is doing what it was created to do and providing the foundation, then the blossom can do what it was created to do and do it with confidence. The only reason the blossom would ever have to look down would be if she felt her foundation was unstable.
I would hope that every time the stem (or the man) looked up at the blossom (or the woman), he wouldn’t think that she’s stealing his spotlight, but rather, he would see her beauty as the evidence of God’s grace. The moment the stem or the blossom start to look for their own glory is the moment the whole flower begins to die.
Misty, thank you so much for following BrotherWord and for continuing the dialogue. This is a topic we will definitely have to revisit and get into more details about. Check back often for a more in depth look into the “stem and blossom.” Until then, thank you again for your insight and thought-provoking commentary. Until next time…